When We Get It Wrong, It's OK to Admit It.

I remember sitting in Lethbridge, Alberta, in the summer of 2011 during my recruit training program regarding operating an emergency vehicle. The course was called EVOC, which stands for Emergency Vehicle Operations Course. It is designed to prepare an officer to operate such a vehicle on public highways. Not just driving fast, with red and blue lights, but all the responsibility and legality that came with it. One aspect of this was the danger of tunnel vision. This is when one can become so focused on a single or limited view. During a catch-the-distance maneuver (trying to catch up to a vehicle), an officer can lose focus of the other cars and obstacles on the highway. If one is not careful, tunnel vision can lead to serious motor vehicle collisions and other issues.

Over the last three years, fighting off government overreach, fighting off public health officers, fighting off legislation that is aimed to silence the church, I have found myself in many battles. Battles must be fought (and, to be fair, still fighting through). During the heat of the battle, there were times that I may have been too harsh, too direct and perhaps passion-led. Do I regret everything? Of course not. Words needed to be spoken, but I would be a blind fool not to examine and confess that there were times the spirit behind such words was wrong. In February 2013, while serving as an officer, I was involved in a motor vehicle collision on duty. The fallout of that incident lasted several years. Looking back on the situation, I can see what went wrong, what could have been different and simultaneously suffering some physical reminders of the event. It is the same with all the issues listed above; I have been allowed to review, debrief and pray.

Scripture is clear, pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall (Prv 16:18); what is also clear is that good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offence (Prv 19:11). It is these two verses that caught my attention over the past couple weeks. In my zeal to stand firm for Christ and His Gospel, to fight off threats that have the potential to harm the sheep, tunnel vision crept in. I forgot that not all fighting the good fight of faith had the same role. Let me explain -

In the Canadian Forces, everyone (except Chaplains) is expected to be riflemen first. But there is the Royal Navy, the Royal Air Force, and the Army, all vitally important but with different roles. Looking directly at the army, there is the infantry soldier. They are considered the 1%'ers. They are on the front lines, the grunts, taking the shots. When a battle is raging, everyone all the way up the chain of command relies on the infantry soldier to take the ground. However, such soldiers are assisted by field artillery, aid stations, medics and cooks. Air strikes clear ground while Naval bombardments assist with the same or transport essential resources. All in the same battle - different roles.

I stand by the many articles and critiques written over the last few years. I stand by the truth of content and the need to call it out, address the concern and raise the alarm and will continue to do so - but I sinned in treating supporting troops as not committed. I had tunnel vision. Sometimes those I associated with were also too focused and tunnel-visioned and, through mutual encouragement, had blind spots. Because of this, some spiritual motor vehicle collisions took place. I was wrong; no matter how one slices it, unintended damage and casualties occurred.

The Apostle James writes an amazing instruction, which is sometimes hard to follow.

"Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed" (James 5:16). So this is what I am doing, admitting I did not always have it right. I did not always say it in the right spirit and allowed myself to be "tunnel-visioned" sometimes. In short, I sinned. Scripture is also clear that we are to bear with one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, you must also forgive (Col 3:13).

We are certainly living in a day and age of compromise in the church. We see it with many pastors, congregations and seminaries. There are many attacks against the Christian church with government and outside threats, which I will continue to address on a weekly basis, but moving forward, I will strive to fly the banner over every post or podcast of Ephesians 4:32, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

In closing, may this serve as an open letter of apology to anyone I may have offended or addressed too quickly outside the spirit of humility and reconciliation.

Yours in Christ,

Pastor Steve